Monday, July 20, 2009

Why not the Grey?

Thoughts drive me crazy, for they never seem to end. They seem to pervade every bit of my being and then when I feel I am done there are some more. It’s most odd, for I wasn’t always so. Or was I?

It is strange when I sit and contemplate, strange ‘coz it is almost an assortment of contrasts. Black and white of everything, only the greys dull me out. But strangely the affinity for the two extremes is as strong as can be. It only leaves me wondering, where do I belong? I can’t understand the complexity of it all and simplification, I have realized, is not my cup of tea. Then where are the answers?

Often I wonder, is it just me? Or is it the age, as they say? Or is it that I think beyond my years as most would have me believe? I understand it not. But there is this that I do know. I sense many things that I should not, why I do not know. It is just that there is a pervasive feeling around us all that touches this one chord deep within me, a silent touch of emotion, unspoken, yet so profound. It is strange, as much to me as most of others feel if I ever talk about this.

There have been many times I have tried to reason things out, within myself, I realize it is imperative that this is the way I do it, for I can’t explain. No, it is beyond me, to even those that I most care for. It is ironic, how those same cannot but see, there is a light that shines, that tries to reach out to them. But there is a fear, a fear that is now there, that now destroys even the murmurs of realization, whispers of understanding to those that may need it most from this one end. May be there shall come a time again when these fears shall fade away, but till then no thought escapes the confines of the mind, shackles have been drawn deep inside and there are many that refuse to give in. There are no answers yet, there have been none.

And I wait on.