A Fool's Confession

Dreams are but dreams...fickle minded imagination creating some very extraordinary bouts of hope...hope that the world is as simple as you see it...even when reality strikes with full force, a slap bang across the face, a wake up call you can't ignore....yet stupid stupid heart refuses to listen... there is so much pain, so much loss and yet it pays no heed.... there is no reason, no logic to such things..... As they say "heart does things for reasons, reason can't understand".........

एक रात

कल रात एक जाम के ऊपर 

उनसे मुलाक़ात हुई 

आँखों से कुछ लफ्ज़ कहे

हर लफ्ज़ में एक बात हुई

अजनबी सी शक्सियत थी 

अजनबी रहने की दरकार हुई

एक कांपती सी लोह थी

कांपती बातों की ज़ंजीर हुई

उस एक पल की जैसे साज़िश थी 

खुद में ज़िन्दगी समेटने की 

और उस एक पल से लिपट जाने की 

आरजू भी खूब हुई

इस रात का कोई अंजाम ना हो

दिल की यह फरियाद हुई

कुछ में बहुत कुछ कहने की तम्मना 

लफ़्ज़ों से अनजान, जस्बातों में हर बात हुई

एक कशिश सी ख्वाब बनके

कुछ ऐसे ज़ेहन में उतर गयी

उस रात में जैसे क़ैद सारी ख्वाहिशें 

बस यादें बन महबूब हुई 

Whispered Wish

It was a bright summer day, yet rain fell on, large drops as if lashing out in anger. The sun was soon to be shadowed, a vicious harbinger of times to be. Yet she had no inkling of what fate had in store for her, what storm would wreck her life as this one ended. She was innocent, so pure, her belief in every thing was complete, so perfect, so unwavering.

She believed life was beautiful and love was what fed it. She believed that caring was living and love, defined it. Wrapped in her own little dream world, little did she know it would all come crashing down. And while she would be left with pieces to pick, it would be those she loved that would cause the pain. Everything gambled for pure selfish pleasure. It was dark and vile and yet it was what was to be.

Life is unfair they used to tell her, yet she believed in its parity. Love can hurt they would tell her, she only believed it healed. She said she wasn't afraid of shadows, the darkness of which they spoke, for her life was full of light, she was only grateful for the man she loved.

But Cupid doesn't last for long, and Gods can be merciless too. Beautiful times don't last, They can be cruel, cruel with all their might. And as she saw the darkness, the pain that came with it, standing desolate, with a shadow cast upon her dreams.

She still had but one wish, she wished that man would have just understood her, love was a far cry off.

A Lifetime

A perfect day,
a perfect smile,
a perfect start.

Wishful eyes,
bated breath,
dreamy touch.

Sinful wait,
daring questions,
incomplete answers.

Untold truths,
screaming lies,
complete betrayal.

A perfect night,
a perfect tear,
a perfect end.

एक लहर

कैसा है ये बंधन, जो बनने से पहले टूट जाता है?
कैसी गांठ है यह, जो बंधने से पहले खुल जाती है?
कैसी है यह ख़ामोशी, जो हर सच बयां करती है?
कैसा है यह लम्हा जिसमे सारी ज़िन्दगी बिखर जाती  है?

क्यों हर लहर धरा से मिलने से पहले सिमट जाती है?
क्यों समुन्दर को आशियाँ बना, धरती से को ललचाती है?
यही मर्ज़ी है इस उफनती लहर की, तो क्यों ये इतना मचलती है?
क्यों करती है कोशिश माटी एक कतरे में सामने की?

यह कैसा नाता है बेनाम जिसे कायनात जोड़ती और तोड़ती रहती है?
क्यों इस सन्नाटे को चीरता शोर किसी को सुनाई नहीं देता?
एक पल में हर दर्द किस गहराई में डूब जाता है,
इन लभों पर एक झूठी हँसी खेलने लगती है

और रह जाता है जीवन का एक सच - की यह लहर फिर लौटेगी,
 फिर इस समुन्द्र की गहरायिओं से निकल कर
फिर इस धरा में सिमट जाने को तरसेगी और तब तक मचलेगी
जब तक यह धरा उसे अपना न ले या उसमे समां ना जाये.

Memories

The creaking door leads into an empty courtyard.
The floor is strewn with leaves that have grown crisp with age.
Nothing seems out of place. Yet, none where it was left.
It's all one big picture.
So complete in all its completeness.
It does not feel strange.
No, not strange at all,
for this is not the only that has been ravaged by time.
The clock has ticked on, ages have gone by
still here are smells as fresh as yesterday.
It is what I dream of, a sincere dream,
still only a figment of my imagination.
A single thread that refuses to break, I refuse to let go.
A faint whisper talks about the days gone by -
beautiful, painful, dreams, realities all woven together.
There are those that came true,
there are those that were shattered.
There are those that stayed mine,
there are those that were snatched away.
Each plays before my eyes as I walk on.
There are no complaints, no resigned ambitions now.
What remains is a longing to live it all again,
a hollow desire, an empty wish.

Conversation

There is a sweet nothingness about the way you make me feel,

a gentleness so unknown to me,

a pursuance so alien

Yet you make me more familiar to myself than I can ever be.

Sometimes I know you and at others I don't

Sometimes I think we belong to each other

still there are more that take you away

You, my enigma, are my solution.

Your presence hovering over me

governing my every move, even my breath

your love, your emotions, your fear, all so palpable.

We both sense it, a distance grows and I hate it.

There is so much to say -

so many words, phares, sentences

all suddenly go so quaint and ridiculous before you

Few make any sense and it seems I have never cared.

My silence is my witness

when your thoughts rush in the dead of nights.

I may never own it, it may not seem true

It is in my own ways I have cared and I still do.

There is no logic to these things

I have heard them say and have come to believe so too.

Your life runs by reason

For me you are reason enough.

Bonds and Bondages

purple, yellow, red, orange, pink

a multitude of colors

today, tomorrow, forever..

then Black

radiant music, sinful ecstasy

a cacophony

today, tomorrow, forever..

then Silence

sweet, sour, bitter, smooth

an essence

today, tomorrow, forever..

then Platitude

mirth, tears, frowns

a desire

today, tomorrow, forever..

then Distance